June 30, 2010

what....no really, i mean what

i bought a fish yesterday
for no reason
other then that when i was looking for a serving platter in one of my cupboards
last week
for my parent's anniversary party
i came across a glass vasey like bowly thing
and
i thought to myself
"that needs to have a fish in it"
~
so yesterday
my daughter and i went to the pet store
and
came home with a fish
~
he's pretty
isn't he
~
so today i had planned on asking all of you for your help
~
suggestions
for pet names for me to try out on him
with
maybe some kind of give away or something
for the winning name
~
but
after cleaning the rocks for the bottom of his bowl, fixing the water so the minerals in the tap water wouldn't kill him, making sure the water temperature itself was perfect and finally getting him out of his little plastic bowl from the pet store and into his new home
and
then
feeding him
i was all like
"what.was.i.thinking"
and
decided
that was the perfect name for him
~
seriously
"what.was.i.thinking"
and
that i'd just call him
WHAT
for short
~
i think he likes it
~
although i noticed this morning
he seemed to look at me only when i called him
mr. what
*

June 29, 2010

oh that brian....

When I grow up, I want to remember that I always wanted to be about a thousand different things & one lifetime didn't seem nearly enough. When I grow up, I hope it's at the very end when it doesn't matter anymore anyway.
brian andreas

June 28, 2010

i wish....

i wish i had
a long post today
filled with glittery magical words
borrowed from a fairy
that you could tuck into your heart
and
carry with you until your head sinks into your down filled pillow tonight
but i don't
~
i wish i had
the energy to do all the things that need to get done today
but as i sit here typing
i've decided
everything can wait
that nothing is that important
today
~
well almost everything
~
there's a cool breeze blowing in my window
that's been absent for weeks
as
we've been suffering from the kind of humidity where particles floating in the air
actually stick to your body
so
today
i think it only fair
that if the only thing that gets checked off my
"don't really want to do it ever"
list
is maybe
oh
let's say
cleaning one toilet
while the rest of my day is spent with my hair blowing in the wind
while i close my eyes
and
soak up the sounds of the birds that sound happier than they did a few days ago
well
then
that would be a perfect day
wouldn't it
*
the photo above has nothing to do with today, but everything to do with the past 2 weeks while my sister and her family have been visiting. i got this shot after my nephew had finished showing me some of his mad skateboarding tricks and i just loved how he looked all sweaty and adorable.

June 27, 2010

and they said it wouldn't last....


i'm getting personal on my blog today
with photos from my parents 50th wedding anniversary party
that we celebrated yesterday
at my little sister's house
~
and
yes
those parents of mine
are still sucking face
after all these years



here are all of their grandchildren
~plus my daughter's boyfriend~
and
~minus the second oldest granddaughter~
who was here earlier in the week
but
had to get back to boston where she works and goes to college


here's a joke
~
what do you get when you have 3 daughters
~besides drama and a few headaches~
3 gorgeous son-in-laws
of course


and
here are some of my cousins from my dad's side of the family
who were amazingly cooperative when it came to have their having photo taken
thank you
rick and cindy
steve and judy
sheldon, mike and pam
you guys were so much fun
~
the best part of my day
was spent
pulling friends and family aside
letting them believe that they were just going to have a regular photo taken
and
then hitting them with the word
kiss
~
my favorite photos
are
and
i think if you have time to look at them
you'll get quite a kick out of them
too
~

June 25, 2010

simple things..kind of

today is my mom's birthday
she's 69
i'm meeting her for lunch in a few hours
~
someday i want a crooked fence
just like the one above
~
it's pink
i mean really. come on. a pink fence. does it get any better than that.
and
see the little red berries growing in front of it
~
i want those
too
~
that's not too much to ask for
is it
~
i just bought the new
droid incredible
yesterday
and
i'm trying to figure out what's so incredible
about it
~
it does everything
but
honestly
today
i had to call myself on it
from my home phone
just to figure out how to answer it
~
it is a phone
right
~
i hope your friday is filled with
love and silly things
all day long
*

June 24, 2010

when my mind wanders...

i bet i would have loved the building that held this chimney
but
the chimney all alone
brave and standing on his own
in the middle of nowhere
slightly leaning
made me get out of the car
~
the building
itself
might not have done that
~
have you noticed
that when you peel back the layers of
anything
it's the contents you find inside that are amazing and beautiful
~
think about it
~
isn't the woman's face
plastered with makeup
and
whose lashes stick together when she blinks
really beautiful and full of life
after she's washed everything off and left it all behind in her washcloth
and
isn't a banana or an onion fabulous
inside
once it's been peeled
and
when someone is filled with crappy memories
don't they look radiant when they've told their story
to someone who understands
because
they finally rid themselves of the pain that was blistering them from the inside out
~
but
the most beautiful thing to ever see
once the layers are peeled back
is someones heart
and
sometimes
if they're really stubborn
that can take more patience and understanding then you ever thought possible
and
it will make you sweat and cry and pound your fists and walk away and come back
and
do it all over again
but
once you find
that heart
and
hold onto it
you'll never regret all the work it took
and
all the peeled layers
that had to be gently discarded along the way
to finally
see it
and
talk to it
and
be with it
*

June 23, 2010

she said, "there's 21 of us"....can we do that ?

this sweetie
is part of the largest family i've ever photographed
10 adults
eleven kids

a really hot afternoon
kids who wanted to do anything but look at my camera
~i'm getting used to this~
and
by the way
the black and white group photo above
is my favorite
~i love candid and this is as candid as it gets~
mosquitos
and
sweaty little bodies
promises of ice cream
when it was all over
a game of simon says
all
for a grandma and grandpa's
40th wedding anniversary
~
thank you susan for trusting me with all your loved ones
~
the precious individual photos
of the children
are
~
i hope you have time to take a little peek
*

June 21, 2010

maybe it's the water...

or
the wide open fields
or
the forest
or
the windmill
or
the plants that need watering
~
maybe it's
the sunset
or
the park bench
or
the carpet of little pink flowers
or
the cafe
or
the bookstore
~
or
maybe
just
maybe
it's the look in his eyes
~
i know
you think i've totally lost it and you have no idea what i'm talking about
~
well
it's all here in this
~
and
now i'm off to pack my suitcase
and
take a walk
*



June 20, 2010

i don't remember...

i don't remember
playing in the sand with my dad
~while he wore really cool plaid shorts~
and
i was just a tiny toddler
but
i know he remembers playing with me
because he's my dad
and
he never forgets anything
~
i know without a doubt
that he knows where and when this photo was taken
how old i was
and
who else was with us that day
~
he's always remembers
~
and
as soon as my mom reads this blog post to him
~he doesn't do computers~
the phone will ring
and
i'll hear my dad's voice
and
he'll be telling me all the things he knows
~
because
he's my dad
and
he never forgets
~
happy father's day
*


June 19, 2010

death becomes her....

am i alone
in my love
of dying flowers
i hope not
or
you'll think this post of mine today
is just awful
and
maybe even a bit creepy
here
i kept this photo bright
just in case the really faded limp and dying photos
bothered you
~
i promise tomorrow i'll have photos of something living
just to make things even
okay
*

June 18, 2010

it's like this....

i love summer
but
rarely do i even know what day of the week it is
~
when the warmth of the summer sun settles my nerves
and
makes me fall in love with simple things like grass between my toes
it causes me to forget about things i wanted to do
and
then i feel all messy inside
~
i guess that as long as it's only the things that i wanted to do
and
not the things that i needed to do
that get forgotten about
i'm okay
and
won't get me written up in the neighborhood paper
next to the crazy cat woman
who doesn't understand why having 99 cats is just wrong
~
so here's to forgotten days of the week
eating strawberries in bed
not showering because i'm just going to sweat again today anyway
unswept kitchen floors that can wait until the first freeze
and
completely bombing another online class
~because chasing butterflies seems more important~
~
honestly
you have no idea how much summer and i love each other
no idea
and
that feeling all messy inside
can feel so right
*
happy friday everyone



June 17, 2010

and i was wondering what i was going to do today....

all i know
is that i'm not going to look back at what i didn't do
or
should have done
or
could have done differently
~
instead
i'm going to look forward
and
embrace what's waiting for me
~
it might mean having to kick some ugly things off my path
while i skip towards utopia
but
leg exercises are good
and
if i have to sit down and calmly talk to the ugly troll who won't let me cross the bridge
~the one he thinks he owns~
i will
although
i'm sure i can bribe him with the chocolate in my pocket
since it's wrapped in gold foil
~
you know
the more i think about it
moving forward
really is the only way we should ever go
~
no wonder our feet only point in one direction
and
that there's words like
trip and fall and klutz and tangled
when
we forget that
*



June 16, 2010

i'll sit by you...

i wish i had something poetic to share with all of you
today
but
i don't think i do
instead
we can talk
if you want to
~
summer has it's grip on us and the humidity is making me turn the air conditioning on more than i'd like to. it's not snow. so i'm really not complaining. the days are incredibly long. have you noticed that, too. and for some reason, it's easier to stay up late and feel alright, but when the morning rolls around and the sun is reaching through my window tickling me, begging me to get up and play, i turn away and snuggle deeper into my pillow. wanting to stay a bit longer. not to sleep. but just to think.
~
the photo above
is from the heart of our little downtown
~
i drove by it
one day
and
actually had that feeling of where you ask yourself "did i really just see something totally cute and is it worth going around the block to see it again" and obviously my "self" said
YES
and
all i had with me was my little point and shoot
and
well
i guess
that was all i needed
*

June 15, 2010

not as easy as it looks.....

oh
the dragonfly
~
it flits
it flies
it's faster than a speeding bullet
~well kind of~
~
but
if you make like a tree
down by the water's edge
and
use your zoom lens
you just might be able to catch one
~
and
if you do
it will kind of take your breath away
*

June 14, 2010

well, i'm still here...

blogger didn't eat me yesterday. i didn't go poof. up in smoke. like i always think can actually happen. instead blogger was actually very kind and patient with me. which made me raise an eyebrow. and then eventually i said thank you.
~
if any of you are wanting to change your blog, blogger has gotten all crafty and artsy on us. instead of customize, that used to be up in the right hand corner of your blog page, you now have the option of going straight to "design" which a week ago, was found only in "blogger in draft." once you play around with a new designer template, you have complete control in the layout of your design, all your coloring options, like you did before, but now you can size everything you want without playing with html codes.
yippee
~
there's no longer "layout" on your normal setting, where you used to change your banner and add gadgets. that's "design" too, but it gets you where you want to be.
~
and
then there's pages. they can be a bit confusing and i'm not even sure i love them, but i'm trying them out for a few days. i kind of miss my right hand column, wondering if my new layout has my photos coming across as too large, but the good thing is that i can add that column back in with two little clicks. because blogger is being nice and patient.
~
so for all the ugly things i used to call blogger
well today
i'm eating those words
*
let me know if you change your look
i'd love to come see what you've done with your space


June 13, 2010

just in case....

it's kind of grey
today
and
it feels like a perfect day to play around on my blog
~
a new template
a new banner
and
maybe a few other fun things
BUT
just in case
blogger
EATS
my blog
which would be a bit of nightmare
but
could happen
and
you never see me
HERE
again
i'll be over at
throwing rocks and sharp objects
~while spewing expletives~
at blogger
starting over
again
~
so tomorrow
if there's nothing but smoke here
you'll know what happened
*

June 11, 2010

your weekend outlook....

a sandy beach
on any lake in wisconsin
is a gift
and
we're lucky enough to have a little one not too far from us
~
this time of year
it's filled with college students who are staying in town for the summer
competing to see who can hold their handstand the longest
~
parents
who look like they would much rather be napping
entertaining little ones
that scatter like a dropped bag of m & m's when their feet hit the sand
~
book reading moms laying on quilts
secretly wishing they could wear the bikinis the college aged girls look perfect in
~
families grilling dinner
and
old men walking their dogs
~
of course i was mostly focused on this little one
and
when he climbed up into the lifeguard's chair
well
how could i not take his photo
~
i hope however you look at the weekend
or
however the weekend looks at you
it's beautiful
and
perfect in every way
*



June 10, 2010

but it feels a bit cold...

sometimes
life comes rolling at you so fast
that you have to jump back a little
so it doesn't slap you right in the face
~
sometimes
it's too late
and
by the time you open your eyes
life
has soaked you
from head to toe
and
as you spit salty water from your mouth and pull seaweed from your hair
you're thinking
"enough already"
~
and
sometimes
you're just too scared of what's laying in front of you
so
you let life pass you by
~
come on
let's be brave
today
all of us
let's test the waters
~
and
i don't mean water water
i mean life
~
maybe
try something new
something hard
something different
~
i bet if i shout out
"it's not too bad, come on in and join me"
you will
~
won't you
*
is there something new you're trying or something you've put aside, fearful of doing it wrong or that even if you get it done, it won't really matter. is there something somebody has told you that you can't do, so you're not even going to try it.
what you do
matters
even if it matters to only you
*


June 9, 2010

where the beauty is...

there was no beginning. there was no end
just strings of rain beads hanging from a dark cold sky
singing
~
beads of rain that had been carefully strung on fishing line by the most talented of hands
they didn't shine
they didn't have to
~
beauty doesn't always shine
~
the rainy day softened my heart. prevented me from moving too fast
~
today
the sun is dancing. i can hear it. it makes music you know.
just like the rain beads
but
different
~
today i hear feathers and tip toeing if i sit still
yesterday
i heard whispers and flutes breathing together like a newborn
~
the sun is calling me now. asking me to make my own music.
do you hear it. the music. the dancing. the singing.
~
somehow i knew you did
*

June 8, 2010

if i had to choose....

if someone told me today
that i had to narrow down my photo shoots
to only one age group
i think i would have to choose seniors
~~
as much as i love babies
and
the innocence of silliness that comes from toddlers
there's just something that melts my heart
when a senior steps in front of me
*
if you have time
~and i really hope you do~
there's more of this beautiful girl over at ruby luna
and
she's just as gorgeous in black and white as she is in color
*

June 7, 2010

she doesn't quite understand stop....or stay

this is my sweet sophie
she's 13 now
and
has never really listened very well
anyhow
yesterday
after a torrential downpour
the sun came out
and
i wanted to play with my
"through the view finder"
contraption
but
sophie didn't really understand what i was asking her for
since
"stop and stay"
means
"run and play"
to her
first she was too close
and
closed her eyes since the sun was so blinding
then she got tired of me begging her to sit still
and
she wandered down the sidewalk
soon she came running back
right at me
with a
"like this"
grin on her face
as i moved to get out of her way

while she was taking a potty break
i took photos of the sky
and
our empty bird feeder
and
then just to show you how crazy fun the "through the view finder" thingy is
well
if you take a photo of something with words on it
they come out backwards
*
if any of you have an old kodak duraflex and want more information on how to take
photos using that and your d-slr {they have to be used together}let me know.
i'll give you a tutorial
*
and
if any of you can tell me how to make sophie sit still when i pull out the camera
i'd love to hear from you
*
ps
did anyone else have problems with blogger yesterday and today
?

June 6, 2010

or maybe write it in stone.....

i have tidbits today
and
if i could
i'd color them all pretty with pastels
~
mark and his crew had to turn around and now instead of the gulf
they're heading to puerto rico
~
yesterday was my daughter's graduation "from college" party
~she looked beautiful~i feel old~
~
i won an amazing necklace on a shutter sister's give away
and
i'm over the moon about it
~
i just did my first senior photo shoot for the season and remembered why i love seniors
~
boot camp starts today
and
my boots are ready
*
i hope your weekend
so far
has been all bright and chalky

June 5, 2010

what matters now.....

it doesn't matter
if the tips are dull or sharp
or
you don't have the right colors
or
the only paper you have is an old napkin
or
you can't spell very well
~
all that matters
is that you write what's in your heart
and
share it with somebody you love
or
gently tuck those words safely between the pages of your journal
so you can find them years later
~~
really
all that matters
is that you write
*
happy weekend
everybody

June 4, 2010

off he goes....

many of you already know
my friend
~
if you don't
he works on a tug boat
and
writes about life and his thoughts
on and off land
and
in a short amount of time
has become one of my favorite bloggers
~
i just got a note from him this morning
as his boat was pulling out of new york harbor
and
heading south
~~
please keep him and his crew in your thoughts
as they head over to help with the oil disaster
*

June 3, 2010

journey should be a word with all capital letters...

there was a new voice
which you slowly recognized as your own
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper into the world
determined
to do the only thing you could do~
determined
to save the only life you could save
~mary oliver~
~~
i've been living on wild mushroom and rosemary naan that my hubby has perfected and honestly it should be on a menu in a swanky restaurant somewhere. it's that good. my sunglasses have been getting a workout. gallons of lemonade with fresh lemon slices have been disappearing from my refrigerator. my legs smell like self tanner. i'm worried about my favorite beach in the panhandle. i had my eyes tested and i'm still 20/20 which according to my doctor is quite impressive. and today i'm being lazy. summer does that to me.
*

June 2, 2010

i'm sorry, but i had to do it....


yesterday
~twice~
nice comments were left on my blog
but
when i clicked on their blogger names to see who they were
they weren't bloggers
they were nasty advertising sites
~
one was for electronics. i think. honestly i was so surprised by it that i clicked out of it really fast. the other one was for vacation places.
~~
so i had do make some changes. which made me mad. since i didn't do anything wrong.
first
i got rid of anonymous users
~for now~
and
i had to add back in
word verification
~i hate word verification~
~~
so to the nasty sneaky people out there. go away. please.
and
to all of my blog readers who i adore and who i don't thank enough
thank you
for being wonderful
really wonderful
~~
i love wonderful. i hate nasty and sneaky.
*
oh
if you have some extra time. can you come over here and see my beautiful niece.

June 1, 2010

is it okay...

is it okay that i don't like who i am today. or how i feel. or that i see a side of me that isn't me. is it okay if that side of me is like a somebody latching onto me who shouldn't even have visitation rights.
is it okay that i want to grab that somebody by her wrists and look deep into her eyes so i can see into her soul and ask who the hell she thinks she is.
is it okay that when she swings her head around avoiding me that i want to slap her cheek until she winces. especially when she gives me a smirk that says "you can't stop me"
~
maybe if i run through the farmer's field
filled with itchy tall blades of grass that feel like lassos around my knees
the blinding sun
will make her cover her eyes and she'll lose sight of me
~
or maybe
i'll realize she's only here to teach me something
~
unfortunately
i've never been a fast learner
so
today
i'm hoping for a miracle
or at least the condensed version
*