January 31, 2010

and don't get me started on bras...

frozen dog poop
in the front yard
is just as icky as non-frozen dog poop
when it comes to cleaning it up
~~
the paper shredder in the office
will not shred
a forgotten metal rabies tag taped to the vet's receipt
and
instead will make a god awful noise
and
then make you spend a half hour with needle nose pliers
trying to pull out the mangled mess
~~
no matter how much hair conditioner you use in the winter time
your hair will still be dry
and
if you use too much
you look like lady ga ga getting ready for a performance
which isn't too terrible I guess
if you're staying inside all day where nobody can see you
~and honestly I happen to love lady ga ga~
~~
potato soup
that boils over onto your stove top
can be used in place of
elmer's glue
~yucky starch~
~~
grocery shopping
can be fun
if you use really cute re-useable bags
and
hang out with the interesting people at
whole foods
~~
the fabulous tasting
de-tox tea
I've been living on
probably isn't doing anything for me
since I tend to eat cookies and chocolate
while I'm drinking it
*
how's your weekend going
?



January 30, 2010

or what I would tell HIM, over and over again.....

because
my own words aren't making any sense today
and
the few that keep trying to escape through my chapped lips
tend to bruise my already tender heart
even when I whisper them
so
I'm just going to use these


January 28, 2010

warm and fuzzy...

when I'm outside
and
the winter day is too bright
I put my sunglasses on
but
when
the winter day is too bright
on my computer screen
I add a texture to it
and
the brightness fades
~~
the
old
"vintage
postcard looking"
photo
that is born
from
a
winter day
"that makes me squint"
photo
makes me feel
warm
and
fuzzy
and
in wisconsin
in
the winter
warm and fuzzy
is a
good thing
*



January 27, 2010

sometimes simple things can be big things when they live in your heart...

the softness of my furry baby after her bath
~
a perfectly crisp apple
~
the smell inside the aveda store at the mall
~
finding some old photos I had forgotten about
~
wrapping up in a blanket to watch
"proof of life"
again
and
loving meg ryan even more than I already do
~
meeting girlfriends for lunch
where the eating only took us ten minutes
but
the talking and laughing went on for hours and hours
~
loving my mom for taking and understanding my side
when somebody said
something
that hurt my feelings
~
a warm kiss on the back of my neck that I didn't see coming
~
jumping up and down when my son came home from school
excited about an upcoming project
*
these are some of the simple things that happened in my life the past two weeks
~
thanks to the wonderful and ever amazing christina
many of us are sharing
simple things
today
~
please visit her if you want to play along
or
if you just want to read all the many many blogs
sharing
simple things
*

January 26, 2010

I really don't know why either...

the climbing goat from yesterday
brought lots of questions
and
I wish I had a really smart answer
but
I don't
~~
maybe the climbing thingy majingy is just to test their
intelligence
and
agility
and
to add some excitement to their otherwise kind of mundane life
or
maybe to add some excitement to ours
~~
who knows
~~
what I do know is that first
you make friends with the goats

then you let them know you have food for them
and
they watch intently
while you attach their food to one of the spinners
the brave goats
start climbing
hoping that the middle stand is where the food stops
but
like the picture from yesterday
they will go all the way to top to get the food
if that's where you send it

and
then it's over quickly
~as they tend to inhale their food~
and
they head back down
and
wait for the next person
sending a bucket of food up the ropes
~~
they have been doing this for years
at this little animal farm/vegetable market
and
it's safe
and
obviously the goats love it
as do the kids
~~
well
and
some adults too
*
i'm still playing with the polaroid coloring
as it seems so fitting
for the grey days that have settled over wisconsin

January 25, 2010

it doesn't matter who won, it's about how you played the game

wrong
no it's not
we only say that to be good parents
and
to make sure our kids feel good about themselves
when the other team grounds them up like coffee beans
and
buries them in the dirt
~~
but
for adults
it's all about winning
because
it's gives us a reason
to throw our arms up in the air
and
dance around the house in our bathrobe and messy hair
almost tripping over the dog
while shouting
"I won I won"
while
totally embarrassing the above mentioned children
~~
SO
the winner
of my
winter wonderland drawing
is
kathy kathy ko kathy
banana fanana
fo fathy
mi my mo mathy
~~
thank you all
so very very much for loving my photos
and
entering the drawing
and
making me feel really special
~~
you're the best
*
i played around with the photo above to create a polaroid effect
~not sure if I pulled it off or not~
and
yes
that's a real goat climbing really high to get to the bucket of corn on the spinner
that was filled on the ground where we were standing and then sent up to the top
by the spinning rope
~lord there must be a technical term for this~
anyhow
am i the only one who loved this stuff as a kid
and
now as an adult
will still stand there and watch this for hours
*




January 24, 2010

but I can't...


too often
he doesn't realize how hard it is to be his mother
~~
too often
he doesn't realize how much I love him and want to protect him forever
~~
too often
he doesn't realize
that on the nights he keeps me awake with worry
and
my bed pillows swell with tears
that
I want to run away for a bit and become someone else
~~
but
I can't
because
I'm his mom
and
mom's aren't supposed to run away
ever
~~
but
they can think about it
*


January 23, 2010

a little housekeeping...


the dust bunnies
roll across the hardwood floors like tumbleweeds in the desert
~
the sliding glass doors
are filled with fingerprint smudges
and
I don't even have toddlers anymore
~
and
there's toothpaste remains on the bathroom countertops
~~
sure
I just described my house
but
that's also how I feel about my space here
~
maybe it's the new year
or
maybe it's that I have links on my sidebar that are no longer in use
or
maybe it's just that
if I'm busy cleaning up my blog
then
I don't have to vacuum or do the dishes or clean off the gunk
hanging from one of the racks in my oven
~I think it's cheese from a frozen pizza~
~
anyhow
this weekend
~mostly sunday~
I'm sprucing things up a bit
by
fluffing up the pillows
on my blog
~
honestly
you won't notice anything drastic
or
probably
even that much of a difference
to tell you the truth
~
but
I will
and
I'll feel better and more energized
and
even have an extra little bounce in my step
the next time you see me
*
oh
and
there's still time to enter your name
to win a photo
but do it quickly
because
at noon
today
I will be picking a winner
but
it won't be announced until monday morning
::


January 22, 2010

the good, the bad and too often, the sad....

while watching tv this week
~~
keith urban was adorable on ellen
~
I thought lady ga-ga gave a wonderful interview on oprah
even
after a disastrous wardrobe malfunction during her performance
~
am I the only one
who wants
to put duct tape over elizabeth hasselbeck's mouth
~
ricky gervais hosted the golden globes
and
even though I love him and think he's hysterically funny
I don't think anyone appreciated the job he did
~
on the bachelor
well I don't even want to admit I watch it
but I do
and
so far I love tenley
and
was it completely perfect when michelle's bluff was called and she walked out
~
yippee
there's only 21 more days until the olympics
~
I will miss him terribly
and
american idol will never ever EVER be the same
once simon leaves
~
tonight
the
huge celebrity fundraiser
for haiti
~organized by george clooney~
will be on every channel
with no commercial interruptions
and
I plan on being front and center
with a big bowl of popcorn
for the entire show
~
when an anonymous person
chartered a plane this week to get 53 orphans out of haiti
~47 of them with adoption papers being expedited~
I stood up and cheered
but
when an injured little girl's mother
was told her daughter's arm would have to be amputated
due to the extent of her injury
she cried out to the sky
that she would rather see her child die
than have to see her live as an amputee in haiti
and
then
I cried
*

January 21, 2010

one + one = 1027


600
posts
~~
there it was in black and white
and
I had failed to pay any attention to it
until yesterday
~~
but
the more I thought about it
and
then about all of the
living and love and experiences and friends and dreams and inspiration and support
that have wrapped themselves around me
during the past four years
I felt that I had left out a very important part of my life
~~
my very first blog
a baby of sorts
~~
when I first decided to blog
in december of 2005
it was on the heels of another one of our moves
and
I wanted to keep our friends and family up to date
with all of our life changes
~~
but
it quickly became much more than that
~~
it became a huge part of my daily life
for two years
~~
but
then one morning I woke up
and
knew that something had to change
~~
like a favorite sweater shrinking in the dryer
just wasn't fitting me anymore
~~
it was filled with art
that I was no longer working on
and
many photos from flickr
that weren't mine
because
at that time
photography wasn't important to me
and
I knew in my heart
that I needed something new
something fresh
~~
so
"more doors"
~be yourself...everyone else is taken~
was born
representing all the homes I have lived in
while
cherishing the fact that there will be
more doors
I'll open in the future
~~
and
it's been here
on this blog
where
I've learned to fly
~~
where
my photography
that I didn't fall in love with
until
I went to squam in september of 2008
has a home
~~
where
my words
that so often seem jumbled up in my mind
somehow make sense when I see them written here
~~
so
I decided I couldn't leave out my first blog
because
all of us have someone or something
we need to give credit to
for a starting point
with something special in our lives
~~
so here's to my old blog
who helped me get here
~~
1027
posts
*
and
to those of you who mentioned it
by all means
if you win the drawing
and
want the truck photo
from yesterday
instead of a winter scene
it's all yours
*






January 20, 2010

I should have been paying more attention...

I had no idea
that my winter wonderland photos
from yesterday's
"I hope you dance"
highlighted
my 600th post
~~
I had no idea
that my winter wonderland photos
would bring so many
soft and warm compliments
making
me feel incredibly special
~~
but
I do know that
all of you
who made me feel so wonderful
deserve
a
prize
~~
so here we go
~~
on
saturday
someone will win
a photo
from
yesterday's post
~you'll get to pick the photo of your choice~
when I draw a name
out of my dead animal hat
~~
if you commented yesterday
you're already in the contest
but
if you didn't leave a comment yesterday
you have until saturday
at
noon
to add one
*
good luck
and
thank you from the bottom of my heart
for loving my photos


January 19, 2010

I hope you dance...


the past few days
we have been living in a winter wonderland
~~
waking every morning
to what they say is
frozen fog
and
then spending the entire day
looking outside
silenced by the beauty before us
unfortunately
the words
to describe my blindingly beautiful world right now
are failing me
but
if I could find any that fit perfectly
I think
you'd want to sprinkle them all over the floor
like rose petals
and
dance
in them
*

January 18, 2010

so I married a opossum whisperer...who knew ?

I was going to tell you how amazing our drive in the country was yesterday morning
after another frozen fog rolled in the night before
painting our world in shades of white and grey
but
instead I decided to share with you
my new little love
he was the first
of three opossums we found
waddling in snow banks during our
four hour drive
~~
when we stopped
to get a closer look
at this one
I was sure he was going to take off in the opposite direction
and
run away
but
actually
he hardly budged
~
actually
I'm not sure opossums even know how to run

and
then my husband
~who continues to amaze me with his hidden talents~
started calling him closer to the car
the same way you'd get the attention of a dog or cat
and
it worked
~~
in fact it worked so well
he almost ended up going under our car heading towards the other side of the road
~I know I know...don't go there~

anyhow
when he finally turned to leave
I noticed that the end of his tail was missing
and
that his back left leg was covered in burrs
and
I was sad
that we had coaxed him closer to us
for nothing
but
cute photos
~~
so
next time we go out for a drive
I'm taking opossum food with me
just in case
~~
anybody know what they eat
?

January 15, 2010

maybe february...


everyone picked a word and ran into the new year
with their capes flying in the wind behind them
~~
I thought my cape would fly
too
but
it's hanging down my back
waiting patiently
~~
I think february will be the start of my new year
or
maybe march
~~
who gave january all the power anyhow
*
my heart aches for the people of haiti




January 14, 2010

I'm pretty good at dodge ball, but obviously suck at playing tag...

tag
as in
"tell us 7 things about yourself
because
I just acknowledged you as someone who inspires me
and
just shared 7 things about myself
on my blog
and
now it's your turn
to do the same on your blog"
~~
many of you have hugged me and patted me on the back
reassuring me that what I do here is worthy and I have failed to say thank you
by playing along and I'm here to apologize
and
to finally play
~~
1. it's been so cold here in wisconsin, that when I see people waiting at the bus stop, I wish I could stop and pick them and take them where they need to go.
~~
2. I like to give big tips at restaurants, thinking that often, our waitress is probably a single mom working 3 jobs and that what I leave behind could make a difference in her life.
~~
3. although I love the little things in life, it's also the little things that drive me nuts. for example, yesterday I wanted to buy a pair of socks, but the ones that I wanted were in a 3-pack and the other two pairs were awful. I didn't buy them.
~~
4. in high school I was a varsity boys basketball cheerleader and was also on the track team. I held the school record for the 400 for 3 years until some little snit came along and broke it. the little snit was my cousin.
~~
5. it seems that the hair on my legs doesn't grow nearly as fast in the winter months as it does during the summer.
~~
6. I've been working in my journal and love to paint and create the pages, but hate to write on them when they're finished...which pretty much makes my journal a book of artwork instead of a journal filled with thoughts and dreams and upsets and desires and secrets.
~~
7. I have a hard time giving my full attention to people or things or ideas. my family jokes that's it's my adult a.d.d. and I often think it's not a joke, that it probably really is that and that I even had it as a child, but they didn't have a name for it back then.
~~
and
in the true name of tag
I'm supposed to tag 7 more people to play this game
but
since I don't want to hurt any feelings
you're all
it
::
so thank you
and
you and you and you
for being part of my blogging life
and
thinking highly enough of me
to let me be part of yours
by awarding me the kreativ blogger and scrap honest awards
and
to those of you I forgot
I am so sorry
::





January 13, 2010

wide open...

*
even after all these years
~~
she studied his square jaw line
determined it would be the same one she had memorized
from
all those nights she laid awake
outlining every inch of him
from the dim light
coming through the slit in the curtain
while he obliviously slept the night away
~
the curtain
that had never hung quite right
now that she thought about it
~
the room
had grown eerily quiet
if that was even possible
and
now
motionless
except for the air being stirred up
by
slow blinking lashes unbalancing themselves on ruggedly high cheekbones
~
she finally spoke
~
she said his name out loud
~
at least she thought it was out loud
and
when she saw baby steps of a smudgy glimmer in his eyes
a recognition of sorts
she knew her voice had been heard
~~
christopher gently reached out to her
and
like wax being poured into a mold
natalie melted into him
remembering this was the only place she had ever truly fit
~~
he carried her to the bed she once shared with him
while ever so softly
removing
her headband
and
setting it purposely on the night stand
as if to make a statement
~
the headband that had been keeping her face wide open
~~
his lips
with a wild hunger
bit hers
~
he tasted the way she remembered
~
like old cigarettes swimming in a deep dark liquor
~
a musky kind of smell
that somehow
reminded her of her grandmothers house
which
had always comforted her
like an old torn quilt
~
it was warm and wonderful
making
her want to roll around in it for days
~
actually
for nights
~
days and days
of
long nights
with only the sound of dragonfly wings in the distance
*
this is part two of
where I completely left you hanging
~
which means I've had more nights of tossing and turning
which means
not enough sleep
which means
time to the call the doctor and ask for help
or maybe
I just need
a few glasses of warm milk
*




January 12, 2010

buried, but in a good way...

sorry
I haven't been here
playing
or
sharing in my
home away from home
but
I've been busy
surprising and shopping and eating and laughing and remembering
~~
my older sister from maine has been here
having flown in as a surprise for my little sister
who just turned
41
~~
there was cake and confetti and streamers and horn blowing and dancing
well
not really
~~
just cake
but
it was a really really good cake
~thanks to mom~
~~
so
today I am buried under the piles of laundry
that didn't get done
and
the bills that didn't get paid
and
the overall
everything
that got put on hold
while I was playing
but
that's okay
~~
because
we'll be talking about this week of love and surprises for years to come
and
all that laundry and those bills
well
they'll all be forgotten in a day
*


January 10, 2010

waves with hardly any depth...

I
thought I'd share
my
sunday morning thoughts
that came in like waves
~~
the static electricity in this house
has currents strong enough to restart my heart
if need be
~~
the jail inmate/dog program in our area makes me smile
as I truly believe that these inmates probably didn't feel worthy
"on the outside"
to begin with
and
that just maybe
the responsibility they have for training these dogs
deemed unruly
and
being recognized for all their hard work
"on the inside"
will make them feel worthy enough to be one of us
when they are
"on the outside"
again
~~
they were rating video games this morning on a news channel
and
said the second versions of some that are coming out are better than the first
because
they involve even more blood
~I choked a bit on my tea over this one~
~~
the temperature here is
minus zero
and
I'm wondering
is there a minus zero and if there is
is it really necessary since I think
zero
pretty much says it all
~~
for 8 months now
I've had a mac
and
I just figured out last week that when I'm looking for something on my
"desktop"
everything is in alphabetical order
~go figure~
~~
and
last but not least
at all
on the back of my athleta catalog
it says that in
sanskrit
"kurva"
means
"one who does"
damn
I think kurva should have been my word for the year
*


January 9, 2010

sometimes winter does this to you...

this is sophie
~
from last year
~
but
sometimes during january
when I don't have any new
"perfect for the moment"
photos
to share
due to the cold and snow
you just might be seeing some of my favorites
that
bear repeating
~
and
this one does
~
~happy weekend~
*

January 8, 2010

I love old...

I love
peeling paint
broken windows
caved in roofs
ladders with missing rungs
cracked pottery
empty brick silos
paths worn into the earth
windmills with missing paddles
dead trees
pitted glass bottles
cracked slate chalk boards
and
sepia photos
but
I love new
too
~~
just not as much
::




January 7, 2010

it makes me want to run away...

can I be brutally honest
without hurting any feelings
?
I hope I can
~
okay
here goes
~
I've always been overly sensitive to smells and for some reason it seems
certain smells are even stronger to me in the winter time
~
anyhow
the last two movies we have gone to see
~in sold out theaters~
I have had to sit behind women who must have forgotten they had already
sprayed perfume on themselves at home
and
decided to stop at the mall and take a quick swim in the perfume department
before buying their movie tickets
~
just a week ago while flying home
I covered my nose with my scarf
~almost the entire flight~
just to keep the cologne
that the man in front of me was wearing
from burning my nasal passages
~~
am I the only one sensitive to perfumes or sprays
or
feeling like my space is being intruded upon if I can smell you
or
thinking that soap is the best thing anybody can ever wear
?
don't get me wrong
I think perfume and cologne can be a wonderful thing
if you spray it
lightly
on your skin
underneath
your clothing
instead of wearing it as your last layer
before you head out the door
~
so I'm just saying
for me
the smell of a warm bath and soap
anywhere on a body
is just scrumptious
and
as far as I know
it's never been known to make anyone's eyes tear up or their throats swell
or
send people looking for a new seat
~
honestly
I'd rather sit next to someone who smells of sweat
from a hard day at work
then someone who smells like all the perfume samples
that the avon lady left behind
when she dropped off the newest catalog
~
like I said
I'm just saying
*

January 6, 2010

she's come undone...

maybe not undone
but
I am
::
I told myself awhile back that I
could never
would never
take an online class
because
"they just aren't me"
but
I lied
::
I'm in a class
with 186 other students from all over the world
and
even though this is only
day 3
of an 8 week course
I'm loving it
::
yes yes yes
and
she's scrumptious and funny and real
and
she makes us think and write and take photos and laugh
and
well
really
isn't that the greatest class you've ever heard of
::
and
the best part
I can have a snow day or a sick day or a skip day
anytime I want
and
if I want to go to class in my pajamas
I can
and
if I want to eat cookies and drink tea while I'm listening to susannah talk
I can
and
if I don't show up until noon because I was dancing and reading the mail
nobody is going to send me to the principal's office
::
wow
if high school had been like this
I would have been a straight A student
::
excuse me now
but
I have to go to do my homework
while
sitting in a tub full of bubbles
::
gosh I love school
~



January 5, 2010

I fell yesterday...

not
down
::
just
totally in love
::
there's more of this sweet
~just wanna eat him up little munchkin~
boy
::